My babys having a baby

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Moody Mornings

Jayme wakes up in the mornings now, later then before. She is only 6-7 weeks from my calculations but all she is wanting to do is sleep. She has been eating breakfast before she leaves for school, which she didn't used to do. Yesterday mornign she sat there looking at breakfast going "uhm . . . Im not feeling so well". I had to remind her she isn't eating just for her, but for baby too. It is so strange to have these conversations with my baby, she IS still my baby, so tiny at 15. She wears a size 1 and is only about 104 pounds. I am very concerned about the effects of this already, but then I have to remember many small women have healthy pregnancies and birth. Then again, she isn't a *Woman* yet, she is just 15.

It is amazing to me how people all want to give their advice on what she (or I) should be doing! Some say I should force her to have an abortion (and that would help her how!) or that I should force adoption. Comments range from how ashamed I should be (disapointed yes but never ever ashamed of my daughter) or how her life is over (no, its not, its just drastically changed). One friend even asked if I was going to have her do a paternity test! Ugh! The things people think are ok to blast me with are just getting old.

Yesterday I was driving, and this song came on. I have heard it before but never paid much attention, but this song just made me cry, thinking of her and her choices. Part of it says

Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making
It dawned on me that yes, she has made some mistakes but she DIDN'T take the past of least resistance, the easy way out, the shortcut. She chose life and love and the more difficult road, but the road that is probably for the best. I have heard many many women regret having an abortion, but never have heard a woman regret having her child.
I love my daughter, and I am so very proud of the choices she is making. I told her that when she came home yesterday, and she looked at me with her jaw open, shocked. She began to shake, and then cry, and I just held her. She is amazing . . . Truly amazing to me.


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