My babys having a baby

Sunday, August 20, 2006

36 weeks today

Well, this post is not going to be very typical of the last posts. Jayme made it to 36 weeks, I am thrilled. I have really mellowed out the past week and just realized that he will arrive when he chooses. Jayme had another massage on Friday and we went out to lunch afterwards then for a walk through the park. It was nice to spend that time with her. She is asking so many questions now on parenting, diapering, labor etc. It is neat to see her evolving into a mother.

However, this is all tempered with some really hard news that I just received. First of all, Jayme's best friend's older sister was due in October with a baby girl. Yesterday she was cramping badly and went to her mom's house. Sara's mom basically said all was fine, it was normal pregnancy cramping. Even after Sara began to bleed, her mom insisted it was fine. Eventually her water broke, and she insisted that she be taken to the hospital. Considering it was Sara's first baby, she trusted her mom more then her intuition, and by the time they arrived at the hospital, she was dilated to 9. Baby Haily Nicole was born shortly thereafter. She was sent to a hospital about an hour away, she not only was born premature, but also with webbed hands and some other problems. I hurt for thier family.

Even more then that though, I found out last night that one of my best childhood friends is in the hospital with cervical cancer. It doesn't sound good at all. I called her mother this morning and apparently my friend is in advanced stages. She found out she had cancer 2 years ago but was having some rough times in her life, so she didn't seek treatment. I spoke to her this morning, and she sounded so tired and worn out. She is down to 90 pounds now and can't keep anything down. They sent her from here to OHSU about 4 hours away. I want and need to be with her right now, yet I am worried about leaving Jayme. Shawndra told me to stay here, and be with Jayme, but I need to be with her too. Maybe being an only child meant that I took my childhood friends much more seriously, I don't know, but I couldn't stop sobbing when I got off the phone with her. I may fly up sometime this week, I just don't know. Either way, I am so sad right now. I want to bring my friend home, to be with me, even if its only for a short time.

This is Jaymes pregnancy blog, so I don't want to be negative, I don't want to litter it with my sadness. One life is ending, one is beginning, How can I grieve for one and be thankful for another?


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