My babys having a baby

Friday, March 10, 2006

I haven't given an update in quite awhile, a few people mention to me that they look daily, but life the past couple weeks has been so difficult and busy that this is just one more thing that gets forgotten in the midst.

Jayme will be 13 weeks pregnant on Sunday, time is flying by so quickly. By coincidence, Sunday is 2 years since we left our home and everything behind us. 2 years since the kids have seen thier Father, since I have had a husband and a home of my own. I know that all things considered, life is better now, but I still find it odd that the end of her first Trimester is hitting the same time as the 2 year date. I think about her doing this now as a single parent, and how I am myself a single parent. I wonder if she wasn't exposed to what she was, or if I was still married or had allowed myself to be married again if she would have done better and not been pregnant? Who knows, I guess there is no point in questioning that now.

On a good note, she is all signed up for the teen parent program at high school. This program is great, she has a woman that is her main touchpoint for information, referrals and support. They teach parenting classes, prenatal classes and support groups, help with education and scholarship information for girls continuing on to college (Jayme is determined to still go, thank God) and after the baby is born they provide free on-site childcare for the babies. They have nursing rooms for the mamas and alot of support. I think I am blessed that this will be so easy for her, ok, not easy but easier. After she has the babe, a tutor will come to the house for an hour a day to keep her up on her studies for 6 weeks, when she can return to school.

On a bad note, Tony isn't being so nice. He got into Jaymes email and deleted all the nasty emails that he sent her. She said she gave him the password along time ago but didn't think that he would remember them. He isn't too bright though, he wrote her a bunch more nasty emails and didn't realize that she had changed her password! At least we have those ones if we ever need them. The school however, is being super supportive of Jayme. The "campus cops" apparently talked to Tony and his family. He has been warned of any form of contact with Jayme, and the school has told Jayme if there is ANY incident, to please let them know ASAP so that she can feel safe being there.

Which leads to the beginning of next month. Jayme is in Wind Ensemble and they are taking a band tour down to SanDiego. I had no intention whatosever of going but I began to realize that this is her last trip before she is a mama. I am going to go with her as a chaperone so that we can have some time together and build some memories before she is mama. She wants to go baby shopping in California since we are spending one whole day at a huge mall down there. We are also hitting 6 flags (where she wont be able to ride any rides) and Sea World and the Zoo. I think its going to be great to have that time with her and connect a bit. Next year she probably won't go, considering that I probably wouldn't be willing to drive a baby there, and I doubt that she will be willing to leave for a week.

I had a dream about her, that she had just given birth to Lexie, and Lexie was indeed a girl. She had dark dark hair and was so tiny. She was curled up in Jaymes arms and Jayme was crying and saying how beautiful Lexie was. The dream was so real, so powerful. I am beginning to think more about Jayme and the reality of her feelings toward her baby, and how powerful that will be for her. I'm really excited for her, and for myself also. How is it going to feel to hold my own daughters baby? That has to be powerful . . . amazing . . . strong. I can't wait!


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