My babys having a baby

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Gabriel's entry into this world!

I wanted to take some time and put thought into how everything happened for Gabriel's birth. While I have been to several births, this one, of course, was so very different for me. It was by far the most emotional birth I have ever witnessed, even taking me out of it. For so long we have worried about this little guy, and I wanted so much to have him come out, be healthy, be placed on Jayme and begin to nurse. Watching it happen was literally my dreams and hopes come true. It was so amazing to see all my hopes and dreams come true within hours.

Tuesday Jayme had another Dr. Appointment. I had a meeting and my mother hadn't had the chance to hear the baby's heartbeat or attend any checkups with Jayme, so she took her to this appt. I checked in with Jayme a bit later and she said that she was cramping and contracting, but it was no different from any other time. For some reason, I just had a hunch that she would go into labor that day, but with nothing to base it on, I just stayed at my meeting checking my phone often. Jayme sent a few text messages saying that she was angry she was "hurting for no good reason". Around 5:00 my mom called me and said that Jayme was having more contractions and was in her shower because she hurt so bad. Knowing that Jayme is pretty picky about things, and that showering in somebody elses shower wasn't very typical of her, I decided to leave and check on her. When I got there she seemed ok, so we left to pick my other kiddos up at daycare. I noticed that she was having consistent contractions, about every 5-7 minutes, but they seemed like they were spacing out a bit. We came home, ate dinner and were relaxing on the couch afterwards when she had about 6 contractions 3 minutes apart. She said "wow, these are really picking up!" At this point, I was pretty sure this was it, but didn't want to get her excited if it wasn't. I said that we would know soon, and tried to change the conversation. We began cleaning some stuff up, and Jayme took an armful of stuff upstairs. A moment later I hear "OUCH!!!" and a huge bonk noise. I ran to the stairs and she had tripped and fallen down on her knees. I asked if she was ok and she said ya, she didn't hit her belly or anything. I didn't give it much more thought.

About 20 minutes later, around 7:30 I was upstairs when I hear "uh . . . mom . .. . " and Jayme was looking at me holding her pants. Once again they were pretty wet, and she handed them to me. I sniffed them (Can you believe I was standing in the hall smelling my daughters shorts?????? I still feel wierd over that one!) and I said "wow Jayme, that really smells like amniotic fluid. However no more was coming out. I went into this strange place, mentally of thinking "no, this can't be it . . not now, no. . . what do I do . . ." A second later Jayme said MOM!! and I went to the bathroom, where she was covered in fluid. Clearly, this was it! I called my mom and told Jayme to call her Dr. to make arrangements. The Dr. told her that it probably was the baby kicking her bladder and forcing out urine, not her water breaking, so Jayme began to get a bit discouraged until another gush came. I told her to sit on the toilet, if it was her fluid she wouldn't be able to stop it. Bingo!! Water kept dripping out nonstop.

She called Tony and told him to leave work and meet us at my moms house, 2 blocks from the hospital. When we got there Jayme was contracting harder and not a happy girl at all. I was still very much in logic mode "get kids dropped off, diaper bag, labor bag, get to the hospital . . . " so Jayme was leaning on Tony and very serious at this point. Tony was excited and happy saying "were having a baby!"

We left, and went to the hospital where they were getting her room ready. She stayed, once again, in the lobby but this time the contractions were right on top of eachother. I was worried because there was barely a minute between them, and I didn't know how well she would handle that. Soon they got us into the room and Jayme was having a hard time handling things. She was feeling really sick, and vomited all over. I thought after that, things may get a bit better but I was wrong. She didn't have any time at all between contractions. I have seen where a contraction, during transition has double peaks, but never early in labor and never where there were multiple peaks. Jayme was in my arms, I was rocking her side to side and helping her to breathe through the contractions but we couldn't even get to a cleansing breath before the next contraction would come. They brought in a birth ball, and Tony was in front breathing with her while I was in back rubbing her lower back. This did the trick for a little bit, but not long. The midwife wanted to see what the contractions looked like, so she put Jayme into bed on a fetal moniter. I knew right then and there that things were going to get bad :( It is so hard to handle contractions lying on your back, and poor Jayme was no exception. She began to panic, and say she couldn't handle it anymore. She threw up 5 more times, and was shaking severely. I asked the nurse about the contractions because they were a zigzag pattern, no flat spaces between contractions. She said that it happens occasionally, and its hard on moms. No denying that Jayme was clearly struggling. I took her face in my hands and forced her to calm down a bit, I then told her that she could continue for another 20 minutes,(the length of time on the moniter) then try to get up and work through the contractions, or that she could have the epidural. I could see the tears in her eyes and I knew she didn't want to disappoint me, as I have always been an avid proponent of nonmedicated births. Jayme had to know that I was proud of her and supported her either way though, so I did my best to convince her that it was a valid option for her. Finally she whispered "I want the epidural, I want to sit here with you and Tony and be excited for his birth" That was all it took, I hollered for the epidural and Jaymes new best friend was there moments later.

Well, that was only about an hour and a half after we arrived, because it was about 9:30. They checked her just before the epidural and she was still at 5cm, so I thought it was going to be a long night. During the epidural, I had to walk away, so Tony held her through it. I just thought that I may pass out, literally, watching her get an epidural. I can handle alot, but a needle in the spine isn't my idea of a good time. That is my baby they are poking on, and it wasn't fun :(

So, Jayme had the epidural but it didn't bring much relief. At that point she was even worse off because she couldn't get out of bed, move or do much of anything. Tony and I took turns about 2 inches from her face breathing with her. She moaned, groaned and was so serious. I kept holding her and telling her how good she was doing, and how she was working harder then she ever had in her life. The contractions were still one after another and it broke my heart. I can't imagine not having those few precious minutes between contractions to regain my thoughts and focus. At about 10:30 they were a bit concerned about the contractions so they checked her again, she was 9 with a lip!!!! She went from 5-9 in an hour, no wonder she was having such a hard time. At that point, they gave her another bolus in her epidural and she felt nothing at all . . . and things went downhill. Jayme was so tired and exhausted, and to be honest I think she was so disappointed in how things had worked out, that she faded out, mentally and emotionally. She wouldn't look at anybody, she wouldn't talk. I tried to talk to her and she said "please, just leave me alone"

I felt helpless, I wanted to help, but what could I do? I knew this baby was so close to coming out, yet Jayme wasn't in the right space to welcome her baby. Tony seemed unsure what to do, so he went to the lobby to update his mom and sister. A couple of hours went by, with Jayme dozing and really withdrawing into herself. Finally, I went next to her side, and I whispered to her "Jayme, this is your birth, you need to own your birth, you need to welcome you baby, you need to be involved, he is coming! He wants to meet you!" I just kept talking to her about how amazing she is, how excited we are and how close he is to coming. I could see her perking up, and coming around. I think she was just exhausted from the intensity of everything. Also, it seemed very unreal to her because it happened so fast. There was no time to build up to contractions, they just went off with a bang! As I continued to talk to her, I picked up the tiny hat and diaper they had waiting for her. I showed her the bed they had brought in for him, and the warmer. All of a sudden, she got tears in her eyes, and the reality of her impending birth hit, she was ready!!! She was radiant and more beautiful then I have ever seen her, I swear she was glowing so brightly that you could have turned the lights out in the room and still seen everything. It was amazing and the transformation was apparent to everybody.

The nurse called the midwife back in, Tony came and my mom came in to help out also. This picture shows Jayme and Tony when they told her that she could begin pushing her baby out. She was so happy and excited she couldn't contain it anymore! Tony was giddy with excitement.

At 12:45 Jayme began to push. Tony was on one side holding her leg and counting, I was holding the other leg. My mom was next to Tony and his sister and mother were at the head of the bed. This was their first birth, as Tonys sister Bev had a C/S. All of us were counting and cheering and telling Jayme how awesome and amazing she was. She was glowing and smiling and so thrilled to be pushing and involved finally in her birth. I watched my baby working so hard to birth her child and could feel the tears slipping down my cheeks. I knew I would be there but the emotions were more then I could handle. She is so amazing!

Soon, we could see a tuft of hair and it was BLONDE!!! Wow! I was so sure he would have dark hair since Jayme had dark hair, and Tony is Italian, I just assumed the baby would be darker, boy was I wrong! Jayme kept pushing, now we could see the whole top of his head. The more we could see the more we cheered! The more Jayme would glow and get excited. All of a sudden . . . there was a tiny face, looking at me. I saw his face before anybody else did, he was so vibrant! So Alive! My grandson was born with his eyes open looking at me! Jayme was staring at him in shock, his birth was so slow, even his shoulders and body because he was so large, there was alot of tugging and pulling to get him out. Everybody was shouting and crying and blubbering everywhere!

And then, he was out!!!!!

Look! At the joy on Jayme's face! That is one Happy mommy! Tony was sobbing unlike anybody I have ever seen. He was literally shaking and sobbing and saying "hes beautiful!! He looks like his mommy! Hes beautiful!!!!

Look at Tonys face! My mom is peeking over his shoulder, his sister is covering her mouth. Everybody was sobbing, even the nurse! Tony was so excited and shaking so hard that he dropped the scissors he was holding to cut the cord. The midwife said "Dad, do you want to cut the cord and he was so cute, he whimpered "oh gosh! I dropped them!!!" That gave a torrent of laughter to the room. This birth had more life and laughter then any birth I have attended in my life.

Gabriel was BORN!! 1:17am he arrived, screaming, eyes open ready to take on life. That tiny little heartbeat, that I fell in love with so many months ago, is a whopping 8 pound ball full of life. I never knew how much I would love him, I was unprepared for my heart to soar the way it did. I thought, that it just couldn't get better then that moment . . .but I was wrong.

Just a bit later, after everybody but Tony and I left. Jayme nursed her baby for the first time. I was able to help my grandson latch on to his mama for the first time. What an honor to be able to guide her through those first few steps, to help her line him up, belly to belly, to watch life begin, the connection between my baby . . . and her baby . . . to begin. As much as I loved the birth, watching my daughter nurse my grandson was the highlight of my life. I don't know if I will ever have that honor again, but I did this time, and it was powerful and amazing. Gabriel opened wide and latched right on, Jaymes eyes widened and she welled up in tears, she said "oh! This is so good!" Gabriel and Jayme are a nursing match made in heaven. God, I thank God for this experience, and this baby, and my daughter and the whole experience. It has humbled me, and I can't be grateful enough.

Later, Jayme fell asleep and Tony went home for a few hours rest. I stayed to help Jayme and support her. I was pretty unneeded though, Happily Jayme and Gabriel curled up together and slept . . . and nursed . . . all night long. Other then a supply of water and endless kisses, they were quite well together.

A few more pics, while Jayme was sleeping Gabriel got his first bath. Here he is showing off his chunky beefy size.

And here is my baby, greeting her baby after his bath, he was wide awake staring at her, she was estatic with a nonstop smile, bonding with her baby. Thank God for both of these people in my lives. I have been given a gift that I never even realized, until this night watching the two of them start their lives together.


  • Katrina as a father i have spent time reading your blog and untill this point have never understood what all of these emotions that deserted me were but now in retrospect i get it. You even though you do love tony you are worried about your baby. well he does love you but its hard for a guy like him to share veiws with you. It is hard for him he tells me all the time, He also understands that everyone else is having a hard time as well. Just think of this, how would you feel if you were not able to live with your child who you love dearly, and if you were not even concidered 1st in line having to wait for the mother of the father of your child, even when all you wanted to do was hold your child?

    BTW Tony does however speak very highly of all three of you, he loves you dearly

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:37 AM  

  • I can understand how hard it is, to not live with your child. That is a sad consequence of teenage parenthood. Even if I was willing to let Jayme live with Tony, she isn't ready for that. She has told me several times that she wants to remain living home with me, where she can get the help and support she needs to make it through the next couple years of high school. She needs to still be a teenager, to grow and learn and mature strong and confident in herself. When it comes to Gabriel, I am not first in line, Jayme is because she is parenting Gabriel 24/7. There are consequences for everybody, myself included. My home is no longer my quiet haven, people come for the baby and Jayme. I gladly and willingly accept this part of the responsibility along with the financial parts of raising Gabriel in the first years. Jayme is dealing with becoming a mama at a tender age, schoolwork starting next week and her own issues. We all are changing, and hopefully everybody will grow and change from this experience. Maturity and Grace is what is required for this situation to work.

    By Blogger Kat, at 10:17 AM  

  • just beautiful Kat - you are all so fortunate to have each other. I know I keep saying that, but I guess I wish my mother had had a mother like you when she was pushing me into the world at 17. I was in tears, thank you for the beutiful birth story.

    By Anonymous ~ danielle, at 7:02 PM  

  • dear Random Poster,

    Katrina has had far more patience and grace is dealing with this situation than I or anyone else I know would have. Jayme on the other hand, wow, she has far more resiliance than anyone I know. I would have exiled Tony then asked questions later so he is lucky to have the understanding and several chances he has been given.

    I hope and pray Tony is making the right choice and learning how to treat himself and those he loves as well as they treat him, people can change, and parenthood can change everything. There some a time is ones life where your-self is no longer #1, and that stays that way till your children are grown, and even after.

    Best wishes to a family I love and an extended family I only hope the very best for.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:34 PM  

  • Oh my gosh! you made ME cry and I wasn't even there! Congradulations grandma! I love you, you are an amazing womyn raising an amazing daughter with so much strength and determination. He is beautiful - I can't wait to come see him! Ally

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:00 PM  

  • What an awesome birth! Jayme, you are a beautiful mother and Kat the greatest Gramma ever! I don't know you two (three now!), but I linked to your story from Danielle's blog (a friend of mine through ICAN) and I was moved to tears SEVERAL times in Jayme and Gabe's birth story as told by Kat. Not only could I relate to the pain, losing it, withdrawing...all of that...but the joy when Jayme turned that corner and chose Birth, and the bliss of first nursing. Oh, you make me want to do it all again, goddess damp it!

    I was born to a 17 y.o. Momma. Even with all the hard knocks I've had on this wild ride, I am so grateful to her for choosing to have me *and* to keep me.

    Being a young mom will not be easy, but it will be the best thing you ever did in life. You and your son will be stronger for it. And you will have youth on your side! My mom and I are more like sisters and we are friends now, too. The best to you all!

    Jessa Fee
    Mother of Invention

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:19 PM  

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