My babys having a baby

Sunday, April 30, 2006

A whopping weight gain!

Jayme had her 20 week checkup and gained a whopping 4 pounds! Woohoo!! I was so excited I was ready to dance a jig. Now if we can keep her drinking water, we should be doing good.
Her belly is growing more each day. She and I are at a standstill when it comes to maternity clothing. She loves all of the Motherhood and Old Navy maternity clothing but I am unwilling to spend money like that for her at this point. I would consider it more if boyfriend wasn't back in the picture, but I feel that HE should be the one buying this stuff now, since he wants so much to be a part. I did buy her some cute capris and tops for summer, at a second hand baby store. She was ok with them but still wanted to go get some "cute stuff". Once her and Tony went shopping they quickly came back and asked where the used stores were! It's a whole different story when its "their money". We have butted heads alot lately over her new found "princess" role. She feels that if she wants something, it should be delivered to her on a silver platter immediately. I have little tolerance for this. She is now halfway through her pregnancy, and has bought nothing yet for baby. However she has quite a few new tshirts, new nails, lots of trips to go get food when shes hungry, money for makeup, tank tops etc. I hope reality hits her soon.
This is the first time in her pregnancy that she has drove me nuts. She can't clean the bathroom because "there is bacteria and I may get sick", dishes can't happen because "Im too tired" The air conditioner has to be set JUST right because "im pregnant and get more headaches" ARGH!!! I have HAD it.
So, other then some serious head butting, I think everything is ok. I was down for a week with pnemonia, followed by each kid getting the flu. If that wasn't enough I puked all night last night and so did she. Today was going to be housecleaning day but, with all of us sick, its just not gonna happen . . . again!
Next week should be her ultrasound, and we are hoping to find out if it is a boy or a girl. Either way I am going to be thrilled, I just want to shop! (Isn't that what I was just complaining about?) I want to buy tiny clothing and diapers and slings. This baby is becoming such a reality, and so quickly!
Ok, off to nauseated flu-land again

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Long time no type

I didn't realize it has been a month since I have posted. My life has been a whirlwind of changes, and so has Jayme's. She is now 19 weeks pregnant! Over the past month she has reunited with the boyfriend, had a hospital visit, and traveled to SanDiego. What a month!
We went on band tour, down to SanDiego. It was great to watch her perform. I sat there in the audience, and thought about how blessed this baby is to be able to dance in her womb while Jayme played her flute. What the baby must feel and hear! I can't help but think that being bathed in the music of Jayme day after day has to have a positive outcome for this sweet baby. I love to sneak upstairs and peek at Jayme, sitting crosslegged with her belly so round, playing sweet songs on her flute. I like to picture my grandbaby immersed in the sounds, growing and changing, getting ready to meet us all someday soon.
Jayme has reunited with the boyfriend. At this point, I am so frustrated I just don't even want to write about it. I feel powerless to do anything. They have a teenage naive belief that Love is going to make all of this better. Tony started on medication for his 'issues' and Jayme believes that will make everything so better. He came to me and said that he was sorry for how he acted, that he knew he was screwing up but he wants to be there for her and the baby. He said he couldn't get mad at me for protecting the two people that he loved the most. Ugh. That is all I can really say right now. I am trying to be graceful and do the right thing, but it just doesn't feel right to support them. However, at this moment I guess I would rather be open with them and see what goes on, versus just saying no and creating a bigger fuss. I have no clue if I am making the right choice, there is no guide to go on, no book about teen moms with semi-abusive boyfriends. I wish I had a clear choice, a clear option, a clear answer, but I am afraid I don't.
Jayme went to the hospital this last week. She was cramping horribly and didn't look well at all. Come to find out she was dehydrated and had a bladder infection. She needs to be taking care of herself better, but she says she "cant drink that much water". Kim went and bought her a case of water that she likes, but she still isn't drinking enough. I had a huge talk/venting session with her about how she really needed to take care of her body for her baby. I tried to make her realize its not just about her, its about baby. I think she "gets it" but I think she is still so young, that its in one ear and out the other.
Speaking of age, she turned 16 this past month. It was truly hard for me to get excited about her birthday. I always wanted the 'sweet sixteen' thing for her, whatever that 'thing' is. I know its pathetic, snively, shitty, whiny, and plain shallow of me, but it was really sad to see my pregnant daughter blow out the candles on her cake. It's not what I wanted for her, it hurt my heart. I wanted so much more.
That being said, I pretty much am ok with her pregnancy now. I am excited to find out the babys gender. I had thought it was a girl for so long, was so sure of it, had dreams of it. However I had a dream the other night that we were all in the delivery room and a boy came out! Now I am having tons of baby boy dreams and so is Jayme. A friend of mine held a ring on her hair over her belly and it was swinging back and forth like a boy! Tonight, just for fun, we held the ring over everybody in the house. Each girl it went in circles, each boy it was back and forth. Once again we tried her belly, and it went back and forth! Maybe I will have a grandson instead of a granddaughter! Either way, I am quite excited and ready to do some serious baby shopping :) I want to make a quilt for baby too.
We are beginning to talk more about birth. She wants to avoid an epidural but, I don't see that happening with her unless she gets serious now! Although I have assisted many many young mamas with birth, I just don't know that I will be effective with her. Each time I sit with a mama having her baby, I feel her contractions. I feel my own body tighten and relax along with her own body. I try to absorb some of what she is feeling, and be in tune with her. However with my own daughter, I am afraid that I will just dissolve. When she had a kidney stone I just about lost it because of worrying about her pain. I should take classes on how to help her birth heheheheheh.
On a positive note, I think we have had success in the weight gaining area. When we left for SanDiego she was 102 on my scale, today she was 106 on my scale! WooHoo!!! She has her appointment on Wednesday and we should have a clearer idea.
So, there was my big ole update. I will write more later when I am not so exhausted. 15 credits, 5 kids, work and a partner make for one tired mama :)